Holding Our Ground Against Doom
by Lyre-19
Summary: Jt and Chops hold their ground against Doom. Elka Doom, that is. The story of Elka and Jt's break up, Chop's reaction, and how Jt and Chops teach her a lesson about messing with peoples' hearts Dr. Seuss style! ElkaNils, ChopsJtNilsFriendship ONESHOT


Hey, Lyre-19 here! I couldn't sleep, so I sat down at my computer and started messing around at midnight…it's two in the morning now…I don't know how…but this…this…this thing came out! Came out of freaking nowhere! I've never done this before! I'm kinda freaked out, kinda excited, and kinda nervous…

Please be gentle. Aside from a teacher I've never actually shared any poetry that I've written with anyone before, and what I showed the teacher was an assignment, so yeah…I don't think that counts.

I don't own Psychonauts, and once I figure out where this sudden burst of poetry came from, I'll put it back XD!

Oh, and this is told from Chop's point of view.

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**Holding Our Ground Against Doom**

I saw it coming from the start,

I knew that she would break his heart.

She says she loves him, but I know she's lying.

There's someone else that girl is eyeing.

My poor buddy is being used.

She'll up and leave him hurt and confused.

My pal Jt deserves much better.

I wish he'd never even met her.

Today he's looking pretty grim.

Today that tramp broke up with him.

Poor Jt, he's really out of whack.

I tell him "I knew you'd come crawling back."

I regret my words when I see him frown

What possessed me to kick him while he was down?

He stares at the ground with a wry grin

And then he says "What a fool I've been"

He sighs and continues "I know I know."

"You tried to warn me. You told me so."

I don't need to say a word.

Hesitantly, he sits down beside me, a bit unnerved.

"I don't know how you knew, but you did.

Oh, well, I guess this old horse is back up for bid."

"Where did I go wrong?" He asks. I make him halt.

"Open your eyes, Jt! You weren't at fault!"

He keeps on searching for reasons why,

He never suspected that there was another guy,

One his lady wanted all along.

He never thought she'd do him wrong.

"I knew she was trouble and that she'd hurt you, though I didn't know how

Jt, that girl is nothing but a two-timing cow!"

He stares at me with disbelief

He's kicking himself for ever having any grief.

I nod and give him an expectant look

He says "She played me a sucker, line sinker and hook"

I smile and put my arm around him

The way he's staring, my action must astound him.

He asks "Chops…does this mean…are you still my friend?"

I ask him "Didn't we promise to stay tight till the end?"

We spent the rest of the day hanging out on the Main Lodge deck

But this time, that bitch wasn't around to breath down Jt's neck

We joke and laugh. He asks "What was I thinking?"

I say "Hell, a girl like her is enough to make any man start drinking!"

He laughs. "That's all she was, a pretty face!"

"But…I wonder what made her choose me in the first place…"

"She's looking for a man straight out of a fairy tale, I'll bet.

She saw you as a Cowboy who could ride with her off into the sunset."

"The southern drawl, the clothes, your cowboy honesty and charms…

It's a real turn on for girls. Soon, you'll have a new one in your arms."

Jt smiles at me, he's glad to have things back the way they were

Before that girl came along and caused a big stir.

"But, Jt, you listen here," I say. "Follow my advice to the letter;

Next time you find yourself a girl, she'd better be much better!

Find one who deserves you and one who cares about you without a doubt;

Maybe one I'm friends with too so we can all hang out."

Jt smiles at me and nods and we watch the sun set together

Sounds like the perfect ending, Right? Best friends forever!

But, no, here comes that awful girl again

Arm in arm with her new boyfriend.

Up the ramp without a care, is she trying to start a fuss?

She walks right past Jt without a word and stands right next to us!

She's ignoring us completely, as if we weren't even there.

Her new boyfriend, Nils is giving us a nervous stare.

Elka dragged him over here to watch the sunset, as is the trend.

She probably didn't expect to run into her ex-boyfriend.

But lo and behold, like nothing was the matter,

She opens that great big mouth and she begins to chatter.

"Oh, Nils! My love, isn't this romantic?"

"Y-yes, the sunset's lovely…" Nils replied, becoming frantic.

"Oh, Nils!" That tramp cried, squeezing Nils "I've never been so deep in love!"

"Uh, yeah, but…maybe we should go someplace else, huh, turtle dove?"

"Oh, Nils, when I'm with you nothing else matters! Let's stay!"

"I love you so much, everything else, all the nuisances fade away!"

That bitch is trying to give us a hint to make us leave.

But, oh, that's the last thing I'm going to do. I've got something up my sleeve.

Poor Nils, this must be awkward for him. He's a pretty okay guy.

But I can't just let Elka do this to Jt. It just ain't gonna fly.

I look at Jt, he looks at me and we are grinning like we're insane.

Elka's going to just ignore us? Well two can play that game.

We, like Elka and Nils, lean against the rail.

Nils knows we're up to no good, he goes a little pale.

I'm sure he understands, though. We can't just sit here with our lips pursed.

It was they who intruded upon us, he knows we were here first.

"So Jt…" I lazily begin.

I glance over at my partner-in-crime, trying hard not to grin.

Jt asks "What's on your mind, my friend?"

"I was wondering, good buddy, about you and Elka? Why'd it end?"

Elka holds Nils tighter, ignoring us, but we have her attention, I can see

"Well, Elka make the call, Hombre." Jt said. "She broke it off, not me."

"But let me tell you a secret, partner. Don't you tell no one, Not a peep."

"I was gonna break it off with that prissy show pony anyway. She's dull as ditchwater and half as deep."

Jt and I just laugh as Elka storms off in a fury.

"Oh, hey Elka, didn't see you there!" I laugh. "Where're you going? What's your hurry?"

Nils gives us a sort of half smile as he follows after Elka after hearing her summon.

There are no hard feelings between us. He knows that she had it comin'.

It wasn't just anyone. It was Jt she has spurned.

And no one can mess with my pal and not expect to get burned.

So now there's someone new she's kissing,

Too bad she doesn't know what she's missing.

She had the best friend you can find and tossed him, now he's sitting here with me.

No fast talking filly will ever come between us again, best friends forever, Chops and JT.


End file.
